Plus: Nigeria desires $80B, Binance says lol no
GM. Awoke, checked the charts, and blended my emotions right into a smoothie of denial.
However earlier than we get into as we speak’s squeeze, fast heads-up 👀
Issues are gonna be a bit completely different this week – as we speak’s situation is shorter… and so will tomorrow’s and Friday’s be.
Additionally, the juicer’s taking a break on Thursday, so there will be no squeeze in any respect.
(I do know, heartbreaking… please don’t throw fruit. We nonetheless love you.)
Now…
🍍 Market taste as we speak
Crypto Market Cap: $2.54T 0.47% (24H)
Title
Value
24H
7D

Bitcoin BTC
$78,783.16
0.78%
-6.88%

Ethereum ETH
$1,535.69
-1.23%
-18.79%

XRP XRP
$1.91
2.01%
-11.56%

BNB BNB
$561.08
1.37%
-8.66%

🥝 Memecoin harvest
If dopamine was a chart, these memecoins could be maxed out:
Title
24H Change

New Historic DNA Cloned Wolf REMUS
▲32K%

SVJ Coin SVJ
▲1.5K%

Housecoin HOUSE
▲101%

Paraverse PVS
▲82%
Information as of 09:00 AM EST.
Try these memecoins and many extra right here.

🍋 Information drops
Right here’s some stuff your group chat ought to be speaking about as we speak:
🕵️♂️ Did the feds meet Satoshi?
A lawyer from the US is suing the Division of Homeland Safety (DHS) as a result of he thinks they’re hiding the identification of Satoshi Nakamoto.
Apparently, a DHS agent admitted that her staff interviewed 4 folks concerned in Bitcoin’s creation – and the lawyer desires proof the assembly occurred.
Full story right here
🧹 Clear-up on rip-off aisle
Australian regulators are gonna shut down 95 crypto rip-off corporations. A overview confirmed that solely 3 of them had any precise belongings, whereas the remainder had been principally fronts for pig butchering schemes.
In complete, practically 1,500 folks throughout 14 nations misplaced over $35M to those scams. Ouch.
Full story right here

📬 Binance mentioned “don’t @ me”
Again in February, Nigeria’s tax company sued Binance, saying the change owed $2B in taxes and will pay nearly $80B extra in damages for allegedly hurting the native economic system.
However Binance is combating again: the change’s attorneys mentioned the best way they had been served authorized papers – by electronic mail – wasn’t allowed, because the firm’s based mostly outdoors Nigeria.
The court docket paused the case till April 30 so the tax company can reply.
Full story right here
🤖 AI, faux adverts, and $20M gone
Six folks in Spain received arrested for utilizing AI and deepfake adverts to rip-off over 200 folks out of $20M via faux crypto investments.
Oh, and btw, these scammers had the audacity to come back again for spherical two: they pretended to be Europol brokers and informed victims they might get their a reimbursement… after paying a charge.
Idiot me as soon as, disgrace on you. Idiot me twice… JAIL, idk?
Full story right here
💸 Somebody’s cashing out MELANIA
Bubblemaps flagged one thing sketchy: over $30M in MELANIA memecoins had been moved and partly offered.
The staff and the token’s creator, Hayden Davis, haven’t mentioned a factor about it.
Full story right here
Now you are within the know. However take into consideration your folks – they most likely don’t know. I’m wondering who may repair that… 😃🫵
Unfold the phrase and be the hero you’re!









