Crypto was dumb in 2024—like, actually dumb. This 12 months’s meme coin supercycle spawned essentially the most weird characters the business has ever seen, which is saying loads, and conferences had us cringing weekly, all whereas politicians begged on their knees for the crypto vote (or not less than its cash).
And with this, we’ve loved a number of the dumbest moments ever inscribed on the peerlessly distributed, immutable, uncensorable Blockchain of Life. From a meme coin developer setting himself on fireplace to advertise his meme coin (#6, beneath) to FARTCOIN itself piercing a billion-dollar market cap (a late breaker that we did not even rely, however Stephen Colbert did), this 12 months was really one thing all of us could be happy with. These are the moments that outline us, and which we will retell endlessly to our kids, and our kids’s kids, all of whom will likely be basking within the generational wealth we created in 2024, and past.
To commemorate crypto’s awesomely idiotic 12 months that was, we’ve randomly gathered an unranked record of 69 of the Dumbest Moments of the 12 months.
1. Meme coin mammories
An alleged mom joined her alleged son on a livestream to shake her boobs, begging viewers to spend money on her son’s actual meme coin.
“Do you wanna see him pour milk over these 36DDs?” she requested, noting—in case we weren’t already horrified sufficient—that her son “really suckled on these. Now he’s going to get to pour milk on them.”
2. Getting cheeky
The viral success of LiveMom kick began a reside streaming meta the place meme coin devs would do silly shit to spice up their Pump.enjoyable tokens—some would name it efficiency artwork.
One dude tied his palms so he couldn’t dump on traders, one other claimed to haven’t any arms in any respect (earlier than he revealed them and bought all the pieces), and a 3rd dev mentioned he had kidnapped somebody. We want that was the worst of it, nevertheless it positively wasn’t: one man misplaced his tooth whereas boxing, and one other genius merely streamed their unfold ass cheeks.
Not too long ago, a man created a token known as $Palms and posed with a paper below his chin saying, “I’ve no palms, I am unable to do a Rug Pull.”
However when it peaked, he pulled his palms out from behind his again and bought his tokens like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat pic.twitter.com/MalhNvz3Pb
— Rizz God (@Hirizzy) Might 6, 2024
3. Making a number of Mollah
Because the launch of the Bitcoin whitepaper in 2008, folks have questioned who Satoshi Nakamoto is. In October, one man stepped ahead claiming to be the true deal.
British-Asian macroeconomist Stephen Mollah mentioned he had been making an attempt to disclose his true id for a while however folks stored stopping him. On the occasion (which he charged an entry payment of £500 for) he additionally claimed to have created the Twitter emblem, ChatGPT, and the Eurobond, a sort of debt.
Mollah rambled for over an hour, finally claiming that he would transfer Bitcoin from the Genesis block “very quickly” however he needed to put together for it. (Sadly, this nonetheless hasn’t occurred.) When diving by way of his Twitter account, we discovered a spree of 2018 posts calling out the entire “Faketoshis” on the market accompanied by some attention-grabbing photographs.
A person known as Stephen Mollah has taken to the stage. He claims to be Satoshi Nakamoto – the thriller inventor of Bitcoin. He’s claimed this earlier than and is presently in authorized dispute about it. He’ll now present proof, he says. pic.twitter.com/XkapPT7y3c
— Joe Tidy BBC Information (@joetidy) October 31, 2024
4. See the kitty? Pet the kitty. No, not that kitty…
Solana meme coin manufacturing facility Pump.enjoyable has been the house to a number of the most jaw-dropping, idiotic moments in crypto. A living proof was when degens began buying and selling a coin primarily based on an “invisible cat” known as Kieth… it’s only a photograph of an empty room. And sure, it’s spelled that manner.
5. Slerf’s up!
A developer by chance burned $10 million value of pre-sale tokens raised for the about-to-launch Slerf meme coin—quite than sending them to pre-sale members. What occurred subsequent? The token shot as much as a market cap over $700 million, after all.
6. Florida man says to Slerf dev maintain my beer, burns self to pump token
A Florida meme coin dev set himself on fireplace in an try and pump his token. It labored, and the token spiked over 2,000% to a market cap of $2 million in only a few hours. However he was hospitalized with third-degree burns and couldn’t promote, as a result of intense medical consideration he instantly required. As soon as he recovered, he couldn’t correctly use his palms and claimed his cellphone’s face ID didn’t acknowledge him.
Months later, he give up the undertaking claiming he was taken benefit of. His largest remorse? Not promoting.
7. Does this ass make my tattoo look fats?
A Gigachad investor determined to get his Solana meme coin’s contract handle tattooed… however he spelled it improper.
8. Does this hair make my head look fats?
A crypto degen began to gather his girlfriend’s hair, one strand at a time, putting them on a styrofoam model head. As day two dawned, funds airline Ryanair reposted the account suggesting that the proprietor must fly to Turkey for a hair transplant, which apparently is a factor there. After all, the token skyrocketed over 470% because it garnered extra mainstream consideration.
9. Unreality TV
A tour of the “Solana Villa,” a part of a crypto actuality TV present, went viral this 12 months just because it was so obnoxious.
“Take a look at this helipad. For those who don’t have this, you’re poor. HA HA pace tour!” the influencer mentioned, exhibiting off an Airbnb property.
10. Remilia King
Bear in mind Joe Unique (the Tiger King)? Bear in mind when he joined an NFT neighborhood known as “Retardio” out of the blue? After which bought airdropped a DeGod? Nah, didn’t suppose so.
11. Gold medal grifting
Caitlyn Jenner (inventor of the tokenized Olympic medal ploy!) kick-started an entire superstar meme coin meta. What was significantly dumb was that Jenner launched a token on Ethereum the identical week she launched her preliminary meme coin on Solana. The brand new token claimed to have the objective of supporting Donald Trump’s presidential marketing campaign. Months later, each tokens had crashed beneath $1 million market caps.
12. This little Iggy by no means went to market
A part of the explanation Caitlin Jenner wished to relaunch her superstar undertaking was as a result of she claimed to have been “scammed” by the one that helped her create it: Sahil Arora. Arora made a reputation for himself this 12 months because the mastermind behind numerous short-lived superstar initiatives and the odd Twitter hack.
That’s why it was so dumb that folks fell for his entice by sending $380,000 to a pre-sale pockets for an Iggy Azalea token that that disavowed by Ms. Azalea. One pre-sale participant mentioned that Arora had “misplaced all his rep” consequently.
13. Who’s your DADDY?
Who can neglect the heartwarming story of Andrew Tate, who in July was allowed to go away Romania whereas he awaited trial on expenses of alleged human trafficking, rape, and forming a felony gang to sexually exploit ladies? (All of which he denies.)
Upon listening to the information, Tate instantly introduced a “world tour” for DADDY, a Solana token he’d been selling to flip Iggy Azalea’s token MOTHER. Downside was, although Tate introduced his tour would take him to “Tokyo, Dubai, [and] Miami,” he wasn’t allowed to go away the European Union.
Tate, who’s nonetheless awaiting trial, has denied the fees.
14. No, Iggy: Vitalik isn’t maintaining your fuel cash
OK, we love Iggy Azalea, who’s our SCENE Individual of the 12 months, as a result of she launched her personal token and could possibly be the one superstar to really hold supporting her undertaking (MOTHER) months after launch. But it surely’s not all been clean crusing for her.
In response to criticism from Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin, the Australian singer questioned what he’s doing with ETH fuel charges. This precipitated Crypto Twitter to clown Azalea since these charges don’t contact Buterin’s pockets—they feed again into the Ethereum ecosystem. She was youthful then and we imagine higher educated now!
15. Crypto’s bought ass…
Azalea upped the ante by internet hosting a stripper-filled celebration in Singapore, the place a number of the most degenerate clips of the 12 months had been born… which is saying loads. Some examples:
16. …However Ethereum’s bought expertise!
Crypto conferences are normally critical occasions, crammed with prolonged talks about blockchain technicalities and ever-imminent mainstream adoption. However at Token 2049: Singapore, Buterin determined to spin it up with slightly crypto sing music—very a lot harking back to his 2019 rap.
“It’s mathematical. No extra double spend, it is encryptable,” he sang onstage. “A brand new type of wealth begins.”
Right now, the huge cryptocurrency convention TOKEN2049 kicked off in Singapore!
Among the many audio system? Ethereum’s personal Vitalik Buterin. And guess what? He broke into music proper on stage try the video!
PS: Twitter’s dropping it. Commenters are joking they’re promoting all their pic.twitter.com/oiQehwo7YN
— kukat ⭐️ (@kukat23) September 18, 2024
17. Shopping for tokens like these is insane!
Insane Labz, an Arkansas-based dietary supplements firm recognized all through the MMA and Barstool Sports activities world, allegedly paid a bunch of on-line trolls to impersonate celebrities, idiot its traders, and pump its token. And the scheme labored—till it didn’t. The trolls impersonated UFC President Dana White, MMA legend Nate Diaz, and social media sensation Hasbulla to hype up the LABZ token within the firm’s Telegram group.
“We simply did it for amusing that bought a bit out of hand,” one of many impersonators instructed Decrypt.
18. Simping for rug pulls
As an business filled with incels, virgins, and usually lonely males, it is no shock that thirst entice pump-and-dumps grew to become commonplace this 12 months. The recipe was easy: be a lady or know a prepared one, create a Pump.enjoyable token, put on few garments, livestream, then promote all of your tokens as soon as a couple of folks purchase in. Best cash you’ll ever make.
Kim entered the tub,
Kim launched the coin,
Kim bought all of the cash in 1 minute,
Kim earned 0.30 SOL,
Kim bought moist for nothing.
do not be a Kim. pic.twitter.com/HbP6wMhSOg
— ferb (@ferbsol) Might 12, 2024
19. Drugging for rug pulls
It was a banner 12 months for drug addicts utilizing the blockchain. First we had Meth’d Up Dev that, you guessed it, did meth on a livestream to pump his token. Then, we had Crack Head Dev who—really, you didn’t guess it—overdosed on fentanyl whereas livestreaming. He later faked his dying earlier than turning into a full right-wing, racist Twitter character. Who says there are not any second acts in life?
Lastly, we wrapped up the 12 months with Meth Woman, who struggled to realize a lot traction since her Twitter accounts stored getting banned. Nonetheless, you go Meth Woman!
20. Currying for rug pulls
An enterprising fellow arrange a meme coin for a curry stall in Lahore, Pakistan. However Decrypt did some digging, and it turned out the stall homeowners weren’t getting any cash produced from the token. So the streamer stopped the stream, and the CURRY coin tanked 92% in only a few hours. You are welcome, Curry Man.
21. Leaping the frog
Flog the Frog (FLOG) was one of many most-hyped meme coin launches of the 12 months attributable to its spectacular paintings and influencer help. However its core crew by chance dumped on traders after an embarrassing miscommunication.
“DUMP IT,” undertaking supervisor Breezy mentioned within the leaked crew chat, that means to promote only a small proportion. As soon as he noticed the token crash 91% in only one minute, he wrote, “Bro, did you promote all of it?” Pyro, who was in command of the crew funds, responded, “YES YOU SAID DUMP MY BRO.”
“You’re a fucking fool,” Breezy defined. Happily for the artist, Flog relaunched as Fwog, in the end turning into one of many extra profitable meme cash of the 12 months.
22. Leaping the squirrel
Poor, Peanut the Squirrel. Solely the great die younger: The rodent, suspected of getting rabies, was a common election meme—and, after all, meme coin. PNUT noticed $150 million in day by day quantity in November, and have become one of many largest meme cash by market capitalization.
In a tragic autopsy twist, it was revealed that Peanut by no means had rabies and was murdered for nothing. RIP little buddy, could your meme coin reside on and your reminiscence be a blessing.
23. However wait! The squirrel coin lives!
Lower than a month after the story of the not-rabid however very useless Peanut the squirrel captivated a world gone mad, the rodent’s proprietor—apparently miffed that carpetbaggers bought wealthy off his private tragedy—launched his personal token. By no means thoughts that “the PNUT neighborhood” supposedly donated $50,000 to the proprietor.
“The truth that folks wanna earn cash off that is nothing wanting despicable,” the bereaved proprietor acknowledged in a Twitter video, earlier than pivoting to launch the token known as JUSTICE. Sadly, there was no justice for the JUSTICE token, which died deader than the fucking squirrel.
24. The daddy, the son, and the holy hen
This 12 months spawned a faith with followers worshipping a uncooked hen with a fish head smoking a cigarette known as “Lord Fishnu.” However that’s not the dumbest second.
Often called the Church of the Smoking Rooster Fish, the meme coin-based faith baptizes followers in what’s known as a “brothism.” Usually that is simply performed by studying out the “10 chickemandments” on Twitter Areas, however one follower took it a step additional by studying them aloud in a shower, whereas totally dressed, and with uncooked hen on his head.
And that’s not even the dumbest second: the church was planning on opening a bodily area in Marfa, Texas.
25. And, even that wasn’t the dumbest second
Just a few months later, the church’s chief Pastor Kelby went rogue and began utilizing his affect over the faith to take funds and shill micro-cap meme cash. In flip, he bought banished from the church.
Does this throw the bodily church plans into turmoil? 🙁
26. The daddy, the spouse, and the holy token
A Colorado pastor confronted fraud allegations after he and his spouse created, then bought “illiquid and virtually nugatory” crypto tokens to traders to fund their “lavish way of life,” authorities there alleged. In response, the pastor admitted that he made $1.3 million, however mentioned that he was instructed by God to promote the tokens.
“God just isn’t performed with this undertaking; God just isn’t performed with INDX coin,” he vowed.
27. In God we belief. All others pay in Solana
The CFTC filed a lawsuit in opposition to the previous pastor of a Washington-based church of a multilevel advertising and marketing scheme that allegedly took greater than $5.9 million in money and digital property for a pretend “Solanofi platform.” The ex-holy man allegedly focused “unsophisticated traders,” promising they may earn as much as 34.9% month-to-month by way of a so-called leveraged staking platform, in response to the grievance.
28. You may by no means belief a cabal
Meme coin devs, promising an enormous “social experiment” on Solana, tried to jumpstart a spike in a token known as CABAL after airdropping $10,000 value to 10 Crypto Twitter influencers in August. Inside a pair days, a lot of the influencers had dumped the factor. It now sits at a market cap of lower than $15,000.
“I don’t know why they anticipated at hand somebody $10,000 and have them not promote,” mentioned one of many influencers. Notably, the record of influencers included Beaver, the one that mentioned he paid Crack Head Dev (#16, above) to pretend his personal dying.
29. Canine WIF your funds
As Dogwifhat (WIF) was establishing itself as a “blue-chip meme coin,” a bunch of traders—together with one of many CABAL influencers, Ansem—determined to boost $700,000 to place the doggie meme coin on the Las Vegas Sphere. Eight months later, this nonetheless hasn’t occurred… with Bitcoin even beating WIF to the punch. As time passes, extra strain mounts on these in command of the funds.
30. Something WIF hat
Meme coin lovers began placing pink beanies on all the pieces they may, due to Dogwifhat’s reputation. “The hat stays on,” utilized to pets, celebs, each meme coin in existence, and even vehicles.
31. You’re fired/rehired!
Polymarket, some of the profitable crypto initiatives of the 12 months, to not point out a supply of reality throughout the U.S. election, fired its intern for shilling an NFT undertaking known as “Retardio” on its Twitter.
As soon as there was sufficient backlash—in opposition to Polymarket that’s—the intern was introduced again into the fray.
UNRELATED: The UK’s Conduct Monetary Authority subsequently issued a rip-off alert in regards to the token, inflicting one to marvel: WHY JUST THAT ONE?
32. Purchase the rumor…
When Trump went on a rant about Haitian migrants consuming pets throughout his debate with Kamala Harris, degens rubbed their palms hungrily. That’s as a result of there have been already meme cash in regards to the wild rumors, after all.
However their pleasure was short-lived: The shitcoins shortly fell in worth when the ABC debate moderator fact-checked the baseless declare in actual time.
33. …Promote the information
Because the rumor unfold that Kamala Harris was choosing Tim Walz as her working mate, we watched as meme coin communities that had shaped round different potential VP picks started to tank. Unhappy!
Take as an example SHAPERO, the deliberately misspelled Josh Shapiro meme coin, which shortly dropped 94% because the Walz information began to unfold throughout social media. Unbowed, the undertaking’s nameless chief urged followers on Telegram to remain the course and claimed that FUD (not the coin, however sincere to god concern, uncertainty and doubt) was being orchestrated to push down the worth.
Actually 4 minutes later, CNN reported that Walz was Harris’s VP choose.
“Oh my fuckin’ god, who rugged my bag?” one SHAPERO investor wailed in lament.
34. The President just isn’t useless, he’s simply sleeping
Earlier than he dropped out of the Presidential race, crypto degens had been satisfied that Joe Biden had died. Naturally, a flurry of meme cash hit the blockchain, although they had been surpassed by a two-month-old token that predicted the precise date he would move; it touched a market cap of $660,000.
All of those tokens tanked as soon as the rumors had been debunked. On the time of writing, Biden continues to be allegedly alive.
35. Who really shot Trump?
Bear in mind when Trump was almost assassinated? No, not the second time, the primary time.
Nicely, Pump.enjoyable merchants one way or the other recognized the shooter hours earlier than the FBI confirmed who had shot on the former president. Whereas this was a formidable feat from our beloved degens, there have been additionally numerous cash that bought it painfully improper—together with a well-liked token claiming it was an Italian journalist who, because it turned out, was peacefully sleeping on the time.
Additionally, simply so as to add a bonus layer of crypto stupidity to the pile, then-popular Telegram tap-to-earn sport Hamster Kombat turned Trump’s defiant fist pump into a completely weird tribute.
36. Vote crypto, mate
Whereas crypto was a speaking level—to not point out an enormous supply of funds—within the U.S. election, with Trump working on numerous pro-crypto insurance policies, not a single U.Okay. political celebration talked about crypto of their manifestos.
This was known as a “missed alternative” by a U.Okay. lobbying agency, because it ignored 10% of U.Okay. adults who personal cryptocurrency, and, presumably, wager on silly issues. To make issues worse, the chief of the Tory celebration, Rishi Sunak, had beforehand made pro-crypto stances… however did not deliver it into the election. He went on to lose miserably.
37. Rug-pulled my Grandma
When you’re invested in a meme coin, you may’t take your eyes off the chart—a lot in order that one dealer posted a photograph of them taking a look at DEX Screener subsequent to their dying Grandma in a hospital mattress.
“RIP Grandma,” they posted on Twitter. “Onboarding her property although, it’s what she would have wished.”
rip grandma fr 🙏🙏
onboarding her property although it’s what she would have wished
retardio in paradise pic.twitter.com/idc1nAK68g
— Booby Shill 🫷🤡🫸 (@BoobyShill) Might 28, 2024
38. No (Dr.) Disrespect supposed
Dr. Disrespect, standard streamer and co-founder of the studio behind crypto shooter Deadrop, admitted to inappropriately chatting with a minor on Twitter solely to subsequently declare he didn’t.
In actual fact, he claims to have made the admission by way of a tweet to deliberately catch journalists out. Nicely, contemplate us caught, Doc. If that’s one thing you wish to say in black and white, go forward.
there is not any manner Dr Disrespect is claiming he edited the phrase ‘minor’ out of his authentic assertion on objective to see if journalist would choose up on it 😭 pic.twitter.com/fMe4wOzGpl
— iqkev (@iqkev) September 6, 2024
39. Degens take their revenge on sassy child who rugged them
A teenage Solana meme coin creator rug-pulled holders after his token hit a $1 million market cap. Exhilarated from the $30,000 he’d pocketed, the punk gave the punters a one-finger salute in a house video and yelled, “Thanks for the 20 bandos,” whereas skittering round his bed room.
Humiliated however vowing retribution, our degens bravely fought again, massively buying and selling the shitcoin till it surged to a $85 million market cap. Had the child held on and handled his elders with respect, his little coin would have been value greater than $4 million. Take that, insolent youngster!
40. Prime DOGE
When the fantastic specimen of a canine everyone knows as Doge (the mascot for Dogecoin) went to heaven in Might, the proprietor bought a alternative canine—a rescue Shiba Inu named Neiro. Predictably, the brand new, previous Shiba spawned a raft of Neiro-themed cash, with main in-fighting and accusations of scams, cabals, and hatred. All of this regardless of the proprietor refusing to endorse any of them. Is nothing sacred?
Months later, in December, it was introduced that members of the Personal the Doge DAO will likely be voting on which meme coin will get the Neiro IP. “This isn’t healthful,” the Twitter put up mentioned.
I see many tokens associated to Kabosu and Neiro. To make clear, I don’t endorse any crypto undertaking besides @ownthedoge $canine as a result of they personal the unique Doge photograph and IP (which I gave to them) and are dedicated to doing solely good on a regular basis, charitable works, and Doge tradition. pic.twitter.com/9qsycpdQGV
— かぼすママ (@kabosumama) July 28, 2024
41. Enjoyable with Bitcoin ETFs!
In January, the SEC’s official account tweeted that each one 13 spot Bitcoin ETFs had been authorised. However in truth, the SEC’s account had been hacked and none had been authorised simply but.
SEC Chairman Gary Gensler’s revelation that the tweet was pretend despatched the worth of Bitcoin plunging from $47,680 to only above $45,500. It was a superb opp for somebody to fill their baggage, most likely MicroStrategy’s Michael Saylor. (The precise ETF approval got here at some point later FYI.)
42. Bull goals of Satoshi Nakamoto
Satoshi Nakamoto got here to me in a dream final evening and handed me Santa’s record. I noticed Bitcoin subsequent to Gates and Bezos… historical past’s being written.
— Scottie Pippen (@ScottiePippen) December 9, 2024
Scottie Pippen, the legendary NBA star, claimed to have a number of goals this 12 months whereby he met the legendary Bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto.
Within the first of the 12 months, Pippen claimed that Satoshi was “proud” of his work for tokenizing the basketball utilized in sport 5 of the Chicago Bulls vs. Los Angeles Lakers 1991 finals. Then in September, Satoshi visited him in a dream once more to inform him that Bitcoin can be value precisely $84,650 on November 5—which was about $14,000 off.
Pippen additionally claimed that Satoshi was sending him images in his dream, that he stored laughing on the worth of Bitcoin, and that Bitcoin, Invoice Gates, and Jeff Bezos are on Santa’s record—he didn’t specify if it was naughty or good.
43. Booing for Bitcoin
Crowd reactions to pro-bitcoin remarks at OSU’s graduation are telling. Bitcoin is a model. And to this viewers, an annoying or potential grifty one.pic.twitter.com/HinpbdMEup
— Andrew M. Bailey (@resistancemoney) Might 6, 2024
Who amongst us hasn’t loaded up on ayahuasca, had a imaginative and prescient in regards to the sanctity of alt property, and given a graduation handle shilling Bitcoin at Ohio State College? Chris Pan, the graduation speaker who was rudely (!) booed when he introduced up crypto, spoke reality to energy nonetheless.
His transferring handle ventured past digital currencies, too: “I didn’t go to offer a speech,” he mentioned later in an Instagram story. “I went to share reality so we cease funding wars. We’ve to cease the bloodshed.” Oh, he additionally gave a Michael Scott-esque karaoke rendition of “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes.
I discover it humorous whereas everybody was involved about the one that fell to their dying at OSU Stadium, the graduation speaker is over right here doing this pic.twitter.com/z22vuP6TZY
Malaysian authorities crushed 985 Bitcoin mining rigs as a part of a national crackdown on electrical energy theft. Sure, sure, extravagant use of electrical energy is, from time to time, generally related to crypto miners. However had they merely invested in Bitcoin as a substitute of destroying these treasured miners, maybe it could rank increased among the many world’s nations by GDP. Really, it’s thirty seventh of 195, which isn’t all that dangerous.
45. No sweetie, when a $6.5 million fee is made in error, you may’t hold it
This one appears a bit unfair: After centralized alternate Crypto.com mistakenly refunded a lady $6.8 million—as a substitute of $65! LOL!—she (and her erstwhile companion) apparently spent $4.42 million of the cash. Amongst different issues, reminiscent of paintings, the couple apparently purchased 4 properties in Australia. The girl was arrested whereas she was ready to fly to… look ahead to it… Bitcoin-hating Malaysia!!! She served 209 days in jail and needed to give again the cash and different ill-gotten features.
46. When scribbled on a authorized pad, the phrases “BUY BITCOIN” are value 10x greater than a bitcoin
In 2017, Christian Langalis, a 22-year-old Cato Institute intern, scrawled “Purchase Bitcoin” on a yellow authorized notepad, then photobombed Janet Yellen with it throughout a televised Home Monetary Providers Committee listening to.
Clearly the worth of Bitcoin spiked by 3.7% proper after the printed, making Langalis a BTC hero. In April, our man auctioned off his quarter-hour of fame for $1.019 million. Mentioned he: “It’s good to lastly liberate this quantity from my sock drawer and provide it again to the Bitcoin public.”
47. Betting on Bryan’s boner
If anybody is in search of proof of the decline of Western civilization—certainly, civilization normally—look no additional than the biohacker Bryan Johnson and his long-suffering penis. Johnson, a multi-millionaire who needs to reside without end, makes your common well being nut seem like Homer Simpson.
In December, Polymarket bettors wagered on whether or not he might preserve a nighttime stiffy for greater than two hours throughout sleep. Nighttime erections are “a big organic age marker representing sexual, cardiovascular, and psychological well being,” Johnson mentioned, citing analysis that correlates the next danger of dying for males who don’t get wooden within the evening. As when you didn’t have sufficient to fret about.
There’s now an energetic betting market on @Polymarket for my nighttime erections.
Just a few issues to think about when making your wager:
+ I return from China on the sixteenth of Dec and measurement will happen throughout the ultimate week of the month. I’ve not beforehand measured how a lot… pic.twitter.com/1yZtCFkE1U
— Bryan Johnson /dd (@bryan_johnson) December 10, 2024
48. Heads I win, tails you’re a l0ser
It’s a superb factor Polymarket grew to become standard sufficient to permit degens to wager on something, even Johnson’s johnson. In June, deep within the doldrums of a dull market, they had been so bored that the poor bastards had been really betting on coin flips. Yep, simply join your pockets to a website known as Degen Coin Flips. What might probably go improper?
49. What’s it with hamsters?
In August, degens, apparently uninterested in betting on coin tosses, discovered a brand new obsession: Betting on reside hamsters racing in little plastic vehicles. It was the second straight 12 months that the premise had been examined, however the added vehicles arguably juiced the attraction.
50. Annals of silly token launches, #1 in an infinite sequence
One of many largest DEXs on Solana, Raydium deployed a meme coin on a brand new token launchpad, nevertheless it backfired and “did not precisely go as anticipated,” with two an identical tokens created and the primary dropping 92% in simply 10 minutes. The token initially had spiked to a $7 million market cap, earlier than plummeting to $488,000. “Is it rug?” requested one well-trained Discord consumer.
51. Annals of silly token launches, #2 in an infinite sequence
Think about a meme coin that did not pump earlier than it could possibly be dumped. That was the case with a star coin apparently promoted by Brazilian footballer Neymar Jr, bassist and lyricist for Pink Floyd Roger Waters, and numerous different highly-followed accounts, together with the CEO of a luxurious way of life model.
Regardless of the celeb tweets reaching over 3 million folks, the token barely hit a market cap of $19,000. In actual fact, it was held by simply two dozen holders, and had a scant $4 value of liquidity. You’ve most likely guessed by now that these luminaries had nothing to do with the token, and their X accounts had been hacked.
“It was the saddest launch I’ve ever seen,” mentioned the CEO of on-chain analytics firm Bubblemaps,
think about hacking a Neymar jr fan account with 2M followers and Roger Waters’ account to advertise a token
solely to finish up with $4 in liquidity
the superstar meta is formally useless 😭 pic.twitter.com/WuT7vZ9Hle
— Bubblemaps (@bubblemaps) September 13, 2024
52. Binance says a few of its finest mates are folks of coloration
Binance, the world’s largest crypto alternate, posted a meme to X in June that appeared to recommend that it was discriminating in opposition to its customers primarily based on pores and skin coloration. The alternate, after all, blamed an intern on its social media crew who “lacks the corresponding cultural background” wanted to know what racism is.
“After they noticed this MEME picture in the neighborhood, they didn’t perceive its that means and posted it on X. That is our fault, and we are going to make certain to rectify this problem,” Binance wrote. The answer, the agency mentioned, was to rent a brand new intern.
“WE CLEARLY NEED A NEW INTERN” – BINANCE APOLOGIZES FOR RACIST MEME POSTED TO ITS TWITTER ACCOUNT
“The social media crew has not too long ago been onboarded and lacks the corresponding cultural background” ~ Binance co-founder, Yi He.
– Solely yesterday, the official @Binance X/Twitter… pic.twitter.com/6Z35pc8Gop
— BSCN (@BSCNews) June 16, 2024
53. Notice to Kraken hackers: Your halloween masks doesn’t idiot anybody
Some genius tried to entry a Kraken account in June by making an attempt to speak a customer support rep into giving him entry. The man was actually sporting an affordable Halloween masks.
“Our agent was like: That is completely ridiculous. This can be a rubber masks the man’s sporting,” Kraken Chief Safety Officer Nick Percoco instructed Decrypt.
54. The rugging and resurrection of the TrumpCoin
The Solana-based meme coin TrumpCoin—which launched in June amid a flurry of boasts over its claimed however nonetheless unproven connection to former U.S. President Donald Trump—misplaced 92% of its worth after a hearty rugging.
The DJT token, impressed by the President-elect, went into freefall after the biggest whale and proprietor (20% of the provision) bought off $2 million in tokens—some 2 billion of the suckers—in a single huge dump. The token’s market capitalization plummeted from $55 million to $3 million in minutes. Ah, however who’s laughing now? The token almost doubled its all-time-high worth after Trump gained the election, earlier than plunging again to the ground.
55. America’s sweetheart awakens
Haliey Welch, aka the Hawk Tuah Woman, launched a HAWK token. Quicker than you may say “spit on that thang,” the token climbed to a market capitalization of $490 million… earlier than instantly collapsing by greater than 93% in worth. Some $3 million was pocketed by individuals unknown.
“Haliey’s crew has bought completely no tokens in anyway,” her folks mentioned, denying they orchestrated a rug pull.
Welch tried to reply questions from heartbroken traders in a Areas, however when the going bought powerful, Welch bought going: “I’m gonna go to mattress” she mentioned, and give up the chat, seemingly by no means to return to Crypto Twitter or our hearts once more. Lastly, on December 20, Sleeping Magnificence awoke from her 372-hour slumber to proclaim that she’s working with the regulation agency that sued the HAWK token’s creators.
56. Hamster therapeutic massage
Who knew that these private therapeutic massage units had been good for one thing aside from intercourse toys? Russian avid gamers, that’s who!
On-line retailer Wildberries reported a 179% month-over-month gross sales spike for percussion massagers in June, which was attributed to gamers of the massively standard Telegram sport, Hamster Kombat.
Apparently somebody found out that they may jack up their in-game coin earnings by utilizing the factor, which pulses quickly to ship quicker display screen faucets than a human participant can. However provided that the sport’s broadly disappointing airdrop delivered “mud,” we’d be shocked in the event that they earned sufficient to even cowl the price of the vibrating gadget.
57. Too huge to fail and never return as a crypto firm
It’s baaaack: Enron, the image of fin de siècle dotcom extra, introduced by way of X in early December that it was returning to “solv[e] the worldwide power disaster” with the help of decentralized expertise. Whether or not it’s a parody, actual tried comeback, or actual tried comeback that ends in parody stays to be seen. Within the meantime, the agency says “permissionless innovation” will likely be central to its comeback.
58. Biting the banana that feeds you
We don’t know something about artwork, however we find out about dumb. And it’s debatable what’s dumber: Shopping for a high-concept piece of artwork—a banana duct taped to a wall—for $6.2 million at a Sotheby’s public sale, or consuming the banana later. Each of which Justin Solar, the P.T. Barnum of crypto, did in November. That mentioned, he was inspired to routinely exchange the banana anyway.
As a gesture of fine will, Solar introduced that he would buy 100,000 bananas from the identical New York sidewalk stall the place the unique banana got here from—claiming he’d distribute them worldwide without spending a dime. But it surely was shortly revealed that this simply isn’t potential. The seller mentioned they’d barely make any revenue, and even then the logistics are a nightmare.
59. Even in jail, the scammer often called Razzlekhan retains on shilling
Heather “Razzlekhan” Morgan, infamous for her function within the notorious $10.8 billion Bitfinex hack in 2016, has written a music! It’s, apparently, a rap devoted to the love of her life, husband and companion in crime, Ilya Lichtenstein, whom she hasn’t seen exterior of a courtroom for 3 years. The music, which she says was written throughout a stint in solitary confinement, was launched in a video and ends on an upbeat word: “Carry on praying for what the long run brings. Inshallah.”
60. Congressman digs canine wif ski masks
A meme coin primarily based on a canine in a ski masks pumped this month, apparently as a result of U.S. Congressman Mike Collins (R-GA) acknowledged that he purchased as a lot as $30,000 of it.
“I appreciated the cash, so I purchased them,” the no-nonsense Collins instructed Decrypt. “Washington and Wall Road have stigmatized rising expertise within the crypto ecosystem for a lot too lengthy, and it’s about time that we begin treating this business with the respect it deserves.” This isn’t dumb.
61. “Don’t fear about it”
Remilia Company took $20 million in a pre-sale for its CULT meme coin, then nothing occurred for six months. Anybody who expressed concern was flooded with feedback of “Don’t fear about it” from CULT members, regardless of those self same folks spreading pretend information that the token launch had been cancelled.
Group members instructed Decrypt that they discovered it “humorous” that folks had been anxious. The token did finally launch in December.
62. Saving Democracy, one battle royale at a time
Fashionable battle royale sport Off the Grid added participant skins impressed by Donald Trump and Kamala Harris by way of its November “Save Democracy” content material pack. The pack included two “Epic” weapons, in addition to character emotes that present the fake politicians both constructing a wall or tossing a molotov cocktail. Better of all, the skins use true-to-life voices, with Trump saying “I really feel like a Democrat” when he’s injured, or Harris quipping “Tax that fucker” when taking pictures at an enemy.
63. Rug your folks for enjoyable and revenue, with out danger
Haven’t got the ‘nads to create a meme coin, pump it as much as a billion market cap, after which rug the poor schmuckos holding it? Then Rug.enjoyable is the sport for you! It simulates all of the enjoyable—and dumbnasity—of the true deal. Constructed on Coinbase’s Ethereum layer-2 community Base, gamers gamble on 10 tokens, eight of which will likely be rug pulled.
64. Each time you tickle a cat an angel will get its wings
Tapos is a “tickle-to-earn” sport on the Aptos community that prompts customers to tickle an on-screen cat for HEART tokens, serving to the community file over 200 million transactions throughout two days in Might. The Notcoin-esque cat clicker sport information each click on on-chain.
In August, the location claimed to have surpassed a complete of 500 million transactions. However weirdly, it has since stopped giving updates.
65. X Empire gamers whine to an detached Elon Musk
Guys, regardless of the weird “X” in its title, X Empire has completely nothing to do with X the social platform—regardless of it being beforehand known as Musk Empire. Bought that? In October, the Telegram tap-to-earn sport X Empire revealed airdrop allocations to customers, prompting a bunch of dim, ineligible gamers to tweet their complaints to Elon Musk.
“Completely rip-off undertaking backed by your title,” tweeted one participant. “X Empire. Elon Musk. Musk Empire. Do interrogation on X Empire crew. They’re identical to scammer.”
For sure, the proprietor of X and grasp of all he surveys didn’t reply. Notice, lads: Sooner or later, don’t vent at Musk for x-rated motion pictures or something having to do with x chromosomes. He’s not answerable for these both. But.
66. See you, would not wanna be you
When Fantasy Prime, a SocialFi sport that incentivized influencers to farm Twitter engagement, went viral this summer season, a degen often called Franklin determined to put up each 5 minutes to maximise his factors. Deadpan and constant, gotta respect it.
Franklin, for individuals who had been round for the NFT bull run, can also be well-known for sharing his Ls, together with dropping $150,000 in a “prank” NFT bid that he admitted was the “fumble of the century.”
67. Kamala is nowhere to be found-ala
For some time, it appeared like Kamala Harris was really taking an curiosity in crypto and would possibly rethink the Biden administration’s clueless crypto insurance policies. It additionally appeared like she would possibly even converse at Permissionless, Blockworks’ annual convention. And for some time, it even appeared like she would possibly win the Basic Election.
None of these items got here to move.
68. Donald Trump loves him some crypto
The President-elect, against this, embraced the crypto neighborhood. Notably, he delivered a rambling speech in July on the huge Bitcoin Convention in Nashville, the place he uncovered how little he knew about crypto. His connection to crypto hardly stopped there.
In an interview with Rug Radio (like Decrypt, a completely owned subsidiary of Dastan), Trump shilled his new “World Liberty Monetary” undertaking, which seems to be headed towards some form of stablecoin providing. This appears very a lot consistent with the entire ethos of crypto!
69. Litecoin? Extra like shitecoin
Attributable to present market circumstances I now determine as a memecoin.
— Litecoin (@litecoin) November 14, 2024
After years of creating itself as a official decentralized digital foreign money, Litecoin’s Twitter intern determined to rebrand the undertaking right into a meme coin.
“Attributable to present market circumstances I now determine as a meme coin,” the Twitter account posted, {followed} by a spree of shitposts together with the creation of a stickman mascot known as Lester. Paradoxically, this preceded a 79% worth bump. Gosh, what a dumb—and lovable—business that is!
Bonus Merchandise: Let she or he who’s with out dumbness forged the primary stone…
Decrypt had a metric shit ton of dumb errors final 12 months, however delicacy prevents us from printing all of them once more. This is to many extra in 2025.
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